Friday, August 26, 2011

Road Trip

Just separated from the military and the submarine force a few months ago. A buddy flew in from Taiwan and we decided one evening to drive down to Tennessee. Our journey started in NYC and ended in Knoxville. We stayed in relatives houses, shared a bed, and at one point I slept on a table in a university dorm. We got to know I-81 South really well.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Daisy Chain

Weavels infested our onboard flour supply. It was so bad, Doc told the Captain we needed to toss it. We had several tons onboard. All were conveniently located hundreds of feet from the nearest hatch. Following twisting passageways and crammed underneath heavy equipment.

The Captain issued the order and the senior enlisted delivered. The crusty old men barked at junior enlisted to form a daisy chain (a line of workers) from the flour to the dumpster. At the end, a cook dove into a crawlspace, hidden under heavy equipment, to pass bags of flour up. As we got the flour, we passed it along, from sailor to sailor, compartment to compartment, up the hatch, through the brow,  across the pier, and in the dumpster.

Hours passed, sweating our ass's off and flour spilling everywhere. The leadership patrolled and supervised the line. We all took it in stride and made jokes whenever we can. Inspired, I yelled at the next guy, "YAHHH SLAVE!! YAHHHH!" I got a few laughs out of it. A big black dude turned around and looked at me. He paused and started tap dancing. In his most offensive high pitched slave voice, he said, "YESSS'M MASTAHH! RUTT AWAY MASTAHH!"

Friday, August 12, 2011

Kegal Excercises

Okinawa, Japan. Me and a few buddies were walking along a dark alley when an old hunched Japanese woman begged us to come inside this dive. We were warned about a "Banana Show", but didn't know what it was.

The place was run down and tiny. The only source of illumination were red lights reflecting off thick cigarette smoke. The women were visibly wrinkled and old, relics from World War II. They attended to the young service members having drinks. One was leaning very close to a Marine's ear and had a hand on his thigh.

We sat down, bought some overpriced shitty Japanese beer, fought off the grandmas, and waited for the show.

A middle-aged woman walks out in a pink nightgown that clung to her sagging body. She pulled out a banana and proceed to insert the whole thing up her vagina. She danced, stopped, performed a vigorous pelvic shake, and plop! plop! plop! plop! Banana slices dropped out of her cooch and neatly arranged themselves on stage. The act continued with a roll of quarters and more creative banana slicing. One Marine volunteered to lie down on his back and catch slices of banana with his mouth.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Protect yourself from the FUD

Credit Rating downgrade, stock market crash, debt ceiling crisis, the tea party extremist, congress unable to act... what the f*ck is going?? I am so confused, CNN is telling me this but FoxNews is saying this. The end of the world is near... The government is running out of MONEY! China is going to OWN us! We must reduce our DEBT!

I then realized that I was woefully ignorant on how our government worked and how our flat monetary system operated. 

So I read the Wikipedia article on the US Government. I hate to say it but I learned so much from that article than all of my formal years of education combined...

I then stumbled across Warren Mosler's 2009 PDF "7 Deadly Innocent Frauds on US Economic Policy". After reading that I felt like I took the pill in the movie "Limitless". Everything was so clear now and this was written in 2009.

I am by no means an expert but I can now dimly see through all the hyped headlines and games people play. I listened to Donald Trump on FoxNews today and he is just saying things that are plain wrong. The RonPaul2012 viral ad campaign in Youtube? What fucking horeshit, they brazenly use public ignorance to create fear, doubt, and uncertainty, it's criminal! I suspect 90% of the comments in their videos are people from their own campaign. What an evil manipulative thing to do!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Pale bodies

The boat pulled in to Japan for a three-day holiday. There we assumed the role of tourists, drunks, and johns. 

One night, I got back to the boat right before midnight, the "new guy" curfew. It was freezing in berthing, so I grabbed my bed sheets and headed towards the warmer torpedo room.

I walked in and stopped. A dude was stumbling around confused. His pale naked body and big misshapen head drunkenly made its way towards a trash bin. He stopped right next to the bin, turned around and slowly started to squat over it. 

I walked away.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Sticky WMD's

"Guess what Gravel did last night?"

"What?" Gravel was the most senior of the young enlisted on the boat. He had a stoner's slurred speech and carried this crazed wide-eyed expression on his face.

"He sneaked in his stripper girlfriend on the boat."

"How'd he make it past the sentries?" I said. Gravel was on duty. He was technically "still working" till tomorrow. Guys on duty stayed on the submarine and slept overnight. They perform sentry duties and complete maintenance.

"Those guys? They would've gotten a solid 4 hour nap if he didn't wake them. The duty officer was asleep. He brought her in the torpedo room and f*cked her."

One of Gravel's biggest goal in his navy career, besides getting a normal sized left testicle, was to f*ck a girl in the torpedo room surrounded by million dollar warheads.

Lunch line

I remember my first ever lunch in a nuclear submarine. There were fifty blue-shirts (enlisted sailors) packed in a 2-foot wide by 7-foot tall passageway in the berthing area (the sleeping area) waiting in line for lunch. I arrived to the boat a few days ago and people looked at me like I was fresh meat.
"Do you want to see a grapefruit?", one guy asks.
"I have a HUGE left nut!", he suddenly got excited.
"...", I just stood there.
People were laughing as he unzipped his pants and scooped out this huge globe wrapped in wrinkly skin.
"The doctor said there's fluid build-up, that's why it's so huge" he explained.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

How to Open a brokerage account

Quick and dirty guide to buy and sell stocks.

In order to buy and sell stocks you need to open a brokerage account. There's a lot out there to choose from. It basically ranges from cheap do-it-yourself to expensive hold-your-hand. I personally use for a its cheap $4.95 a trade. Meaning if I want to buy 1,000 Google stocks, it will cost me $4.95. On the other hand, if i wanted to buy 1 Google stock, it will still cost me 4.95$

> I refer to you to for the top 5 stock brokers.

Opening a brokerage account requires you to submit a lot of personal information. They require your Social Security number, Driver's Licence Number, and the standard full name and address.

Once your account is open, it's time to fund it. That requires money (!) and your banking information. When I opened my account, I was uneasy with all the information I was sending them. It's been 3 years now though and nothing bad happened yet *cross fingers*. Transferring money takes about 3-5 business days to complete.

Monday, August 1, 2011


So I dumped money in this penny stock CNYC, a copper mining company. I'm pretty knew to penny stocks and active trading in general. So it came to no surprise I lost about -20% in that venture. 


I came ahead +2%, I dumped money into PCFG (A gold company petty stock) and it rose about 22% just before they passed the debt ceiling bill ( Now I wait for tomorrow and see what happens.